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IRS Audits ED the Gambler


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#1 Rowdy Yates

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 08:38 AM

This joke says it all for me.


> The IRS decides to audit Ed, and summons him to the
> IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ed
> shows up with his attorney.
>
> The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant
> lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you
> explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not
> sure the IRS finds that believable."
>
> "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ed.
> "How about a demonstration?"
>
> The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go
> ahead."
>
> Ed says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can
> bite my own eye."
>
> The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a
> bet."
>
> Ed removes his glass eye and bites it.
>
> The auditor's jaw drops.
>
> Ed says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that
> I can bite my other eye."
>
> The auditor can tell Ed isn't blind, so he takes the
> bet.
>
> Ed removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
>
> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
> lost three grand, with Ed's attorney as a witness. He
> starts to get nervous.
>
> "Want to go double or nothing?" Ed asks. "I'll bet
> you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side
> of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the
> other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
>
> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
> looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy
> can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
>
> Ed stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
> although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream
> reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much
> urinates all over the desk.
>
> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
> turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ed's attorney
> moans and puts his head in his hands.
>
> "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
>
> "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when
> Ed told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me
> twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and
> ###### all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be
> happy about it."
"Keep the sun forever at your back, the wind forever in your face, and may forever God bless you out there on the trail."

#2 woodhick

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 11:31 AM

:lol: :lol: :lol:

#3 Doe Eyed Gal

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 03:00 PM

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :clap: :clap: :clap: That was GREAT!




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