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Clean Can Be Funny


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#1 McBruce

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 09:29 AM

Clean can be funny.


One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy

nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'

So he tied her up and went golfing.

*****************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the

house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack

your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'oh my gosh! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain

stuff?'

'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'



********************************************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the

other is a husband.


*************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First,

of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card

with the letters


'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read

it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

************************************ ***********

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.


Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL!

Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO

MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we

going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be

CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry

up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You

know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'


The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I

don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like

when I'm driving.'


***************************************************************

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was

drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a

comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day,

the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked

seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The

Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
McBruce
Live what you believe
Believe what you live

#2 Rowdy Yates

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 09:35 AM

Now those are funny - it's crazy but I closely identify with more than one of those :doh: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
"Keep the sun forever at your back, the wind forever in your face, and may forever God bless you out there on the trail."

#3 PA RIDGE RUNNER

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Posted 07 March 2008 - 01:44 PM

:D :D :D
If God had a refrigerator would your picture be on it.
Remember the Ark was built by amateurs, the titanic by professionals.

#4 Monk

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Posted 09 March 2008 - 09:11 AM

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :ok:
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young."
Theodore Roosevelt

#5 runNgun

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Posted 09 March 2008 - 11:21 AM

:lol: :lol:
-Eric




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