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Dead beat son-in-law

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#1 sschneid73


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Posted 16 June 2006 - 06:06 AM

My daughter has been married for almost 3 yrs. now. She moved to Ill. because he wanted to go into the ministry and the college he wanted to go to was in Ill. where he lives. (Actually he just wanted to move her away from us) He has not had a job since getting out of the Airforce 3 yrs. ago and has failed all classes he has taken in college. He sits around all day and plays computor games while my daughter works as a teacher. She is finally fed up enough to speak her mind and all he says is that he makes all the decisions in the home. I am glad that he is so far away because I would pound the lazy bumb. He continues to tell her that he is stressed and that is why he doesn't look for a job. While in college he didn't even carry a full 12 credit hours which is the min. allowed to be considered full time. My wife and I are fit to be tied and have sought the LORD's counsiling on this one. He continues to also verbally abuse her and make her feel like she is nothing because he is the authority fo the home. We have told her to seek marriage counsiling and then if that doesn't work tell him that you will move back home until he grows up and wants to really be the man of the home as GOD instructs. If all that fails then seek a divorce because he will not submit to GOD's authority as he is a christian man. Any advice would be great.


#2 Phil


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Posted 16 June 2006 - 07:17 AM

My dad taught me how to prune orchard trees when I was growing up. I use to wonder if trimming off the "watersuckers" & other unproductive branches was painful for the tree. Dad always waited until the dead of winter when the trees weren't producing fruit to do the pruning so the trees had time to recover easily. Not sure if the trees enjoyed it but man did they blossom in the spring & produce good fruit in the summer, especially with the "Sun" being allowed to shine through, once the non- productive branches were removed. .....

*Pray hard Steve! I also learned that dad could put one of the trimmed switches to good use getting the "laggard oxen" into motion! :'(

Edited by Phil, 16 June 2006 - 09:06 PM.

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#3 Leo


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Posted 16 June 2006 - 03:52 PM

This is a BAD situation. :(

It's gonna be real hard for a divorce to occur without him taking her to the cleaners. What you have relayed is he hasn't worked a day since the marriage. A judge may look at that and say, why would he expect anything else but her to support him? He hasn't had to work a day for three years. When did you tell him he needed a job? The list goes on.

My advise is first and foremost make sure this guy gets a job! Then if it's possible she can work on putting things back together.

I hope there are no kids involved :(
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#4 woodhick


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Posted 16 June 2006 - 03:53 PM

I have three good hard working sons-in-law so I can't feel for you the way I should but my oldest daughter was dating a crack head one time and he slapped her around one night. When I found out about it I loaded the guns and headed out the door. When asked where I was going I told them I was going to kill him that you don't slap around my little girl no matter how old she is. Well the family talked me out of it thank God for that or I would have been in jail instead of him. We finally talked her into leaving the creep and he has pretty much destroyed himself. Sorry Steve no great answers here but I will pray for you, your wife, your daughter and her husband. All we can do is hope and pray for the best. Just remember God changes people just look at me.

#5 paturbo


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Posted 16 June 2006 - 07:43 PM

Man that is a sad situation. Sometimes when a parent gets involved with a situation like that it just makes things worse. The best thing you can do is just support your daughter and when she needs your help just be there. She agreed to move to Ill. with him so he could go to college. But he has not held up his end of the bargan as well. As to why he is not motivated into getting a job no one can say but him. Rather it just be plain laziness or he is just using her.

First your Daughter is the one that has to make up her mind to leave, I don't believe there will be a judge in the country to make her pay allamony to him since he is not under doctors care for his depression.

The divorce may cost her some by dividing the assets but it would be worth it to get rid of the bum.

I will keep her in our prayers.

God Bless,


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