…I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
…African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!
…I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
…CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
…ExxonMobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
…my ATM gave me an IOU!
…a stripper was killed when her audience threw rolls of pennies while she danced.
…I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
…I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.
…Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can't"
…my bank returned my check marked "Insufficient Funds," so I called them and asked if they meant me or them.
…Hot Wheels stock is trading higher than GM.
…now McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
…Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
…parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and had to learn their children's names.
…my cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so they re-possessed her!
…a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
…Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
…a picture is now worth only 100 words.
…they renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street."
…when Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
…the Treasure Island Casino in Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
…Congress says they're going to look into the Bernie Madoff scandal. Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
Last night I was so depressed thinking about the economy, I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan; when I told them I was suicidal, they asked me if I could drive a truck.
Edited by Rowdy Yates, 09 July 2010 - 01:51 PM.